Tales of a wire mother.

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 00:46:51 GMT

This is the STUBN!TZ.
Its an old fishing vessel that is docked at the NDSM Werf in Amsterdam.
It was converted into a nightclub a while back and was a main destination for us at Robodock.
I ran into my old friend Meschiya there. She was playing in her band singing old timey New Orleans rags. Fucking amazing, a totally random encounter, possibly the most random you can get. Things got pretty synchro-psychotic out there. I had not seen Mush for nearly 3 years.
There were alot of pretty cool vessels docked out along the wharf, submarines, tall ships, tugs and other beutiful fishing ships.

Here is one of the submarines.

Pretty fucking cool.
Some guy brought this old Soviet sub into the canal that runs through the top of Amsterdam and tried to get it docked there. Apparently the government stopped him and it now sits tied to a big chunk of concrete near the NDSM wharf. People have tried to squat it, but its appearantly not safe.
Safety is one of the main rules with squatting in the Netherlands.
IF...a property has been empty for a year (theres an office you can go check old properties out at) a person can legally break in, change the locks. After changing the locks and cleaning the place up, you call the police and let them know you are squatting. The police will come, check to ensure it is a safe place and they will in turn, alert the owner.
Some pretty fantastic places have been squatted successfully and safely.
I wish we had these rights in the U.S.!
If I could cut rent out of my finances...well I'm sure you could imagine. Fuck the landlord...keep you cash!

-F

Finally got out.

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 13:01:30 GMT

So.
Here I am.
I'm drinking coffee at my new friend Linda's house here in Amsterdam.
The melk is sweet, the coffee pure and delicious and the cat licking my toes is pretty entertaining.
My friend and travel buddy Spider said that it took me over a week to get jaded or cynical about ANYTHING.
Jeez, I suppose I should get out more.
I'm heading off to Berlin in a few days and should be shooting down to Spain for a quick visit with some close old friends.
So far the excursion has been a total sucess. I've learned alot since i've been here.
The Robo Dock festival was god damned brilliant. I got a job being a fucking FIREMAN while the festival was open. This afforded me a front row seat to every spectacle they had to offer.
Robo Dock showed me somthing...Burningman looks like the special olympics of art to me now. I wont be looking at it the same way ever again. I've seen what the Major Leaguers are doing and the Americans need to step it up.
Of course alot of the artists here don't have to spend all of their money on expensive rents here. Most of them have huge squats and have perfected teh art of working to a common end. If I could somehow eleimnate RENT from my cares...my art would probably get huge and amazing too.
Thats my focus right now...how to make it all come together. So far all I have is...don't go back to America. Stay here in Europe...get married, make art, have many many babies...or at least PRACTICE making babies alot. (gotta get it right)
Theres some significant differences between America and the rest of the world. I'm not going to go into that since thats a immidiate death for a conversation. The subject is stillborn in my mind right now. It doesnt matter. However I will make a broad generalisation.
The Europeans are doing somthing RIGHT.
America floundering and doing it ALL WRONG.
But i'm not going to Expat just yet...lots to go check out, and I have alot to come home to.
I love you America, I just wish you wen't such a huge bitch all the time.

Love ya.

-Fitz

Might as well get out the Moressey records now.

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 23:25:52 GMT

Today.

Good breakfast with a good friend who makes sense.
Got me convinced to take care of myself before I try taking care of someone else.
Was reminded of some good things. I've been forgetful, but it's easy to do when you feel ruined and alone. I had to have a friendly reminder...of the good stuff.
Good and amazing things like my daughter and her importance in my little life.
I had run from a little girl for nearly 11 years.
During that 11 year span I walked around like a hungry ghost.
I for got what was missing.
When she hugged me for the first time in 5 or 6 years, somthing filled me up.
I was amazed that such a change could occur within me.
On August 18th she'll be turning 13, on the same day, I turn 32.
I'm getting more silver hair every day.
Oh and I fixed my bike.
Yay.

-F

For I promote oblivion

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 15:44:44 GMT

Todays song herpes is... David Bowie › Running Gun Blues.
It's a fantastic song. I've had it stuck in my head for the last 48 hours.

I count the corpses on my left, I find Im not so tidy
So I better get away, better make it today
Ive cut twenty-three down since friday
But I cant control it, my face is drawn
My instinct still emotes it

I slash them cold, I kill them dead
I broke the gooks, I cracked their heads
Ill bomb them out from under the beds
But now Ive got the running gun blues

It seems the peacefuls stopped the war
Left generals squashed and stifled
But Ill slip out again tonight
Cause they havent taken back my rifle
For I promote oblivion
And Ill plug a few civilians

Ill slash them cold, Ill kill them dead
Ill break them gooks, Ill crack their heads
Ill slice them till theyre running red
But now Ive got the running gun blues

Ill slash them cold, Ill kill them dead
Ill break them gooks, Ill crack their heads
Ill slice them till theyre running red
But now Ive got the running gun blues

They ask..."Fitz, why are you so dark?"

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 00:33:44 GMT

I am dark, I don't know why. I guess I just was made this way. Shaped over time like a stone in a river, or a mountain side by a glacier.
I used to say as a joke that syphilis ate away the happy place in my brain.
(seriously a joke, never had the syph)
It's because I care, it's because I rally and rail at the horror of this human earth.
This is the place we've made for ourselves, theres bad shit at every turn, but we choose to ignore it like the proverbial elephant in the room. But picture a large ball of rabid pit-bulls on fire and whirling around with a halo of razorblades bouncing around your house.
Thats the world we've made.
We can't ignore it any more. The ball won't bounce, it takes up the entire room and it's blocked most of the exits.
No sweet egress from this one. The only spiritually viable way out is to jump into the jaws and keep swinging, punching and kicking. Keep going till somthing breaks, the ball will get smaller, the blades will stop cutting and we might just make it back alive to tell other people how to win.
Kicking against the pricks.

Let the sun shine in...

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 23:36:45 GMT

Hulkster styles!
YEAH!
This is my next tattoo.

Doomsday?

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 18:01:29 GMT

The signs firmly point to YES.

I'm listening to FRENCH SURF MUSIC....
The only word in English is 'surfer'.

Tickets to Europe are being purchased.

I'm going to put a series of Burnin Baby Heads and Super Flammable Clown Heads or somthing up for sale on the interwebs soon.

Purchase them to help finance my first excursion overseas.

More on that this week.

-Fitz

Todays ray of fucking sunshine.

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 23:48:03 GMT

Enjoy that.
Remember ALF, yeah...you do.
Well, Max Wright the fella who played the dad...fell on "hard" times.

My life is awesome.

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 00:35:00 GMT

Reno stopped by.
Johnny Whiteshoes was in the house.
Today hurts alot.

Plans...

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 18:04:11 GMT

I'm planning my first trip to Europe.
Going in September.
Hope to see Germany and Spain.
and Italy...and France.
The main idea is to attend Robodock and sneak (if needed) some art into it.

So if anyone knows of any awesome travel deals...please fill me in.

-Fitz

Castable fire.

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 17:23:50 GMT

http://www.flickr.com/photos/10038771@N07/sets/72157600927776861/

A series of photos I took to help document an experiment I'm running.

I've been mixing paraffin wax with wood chips and coffee grounds to make a castable medium for sculpture.

I'm just now getting to the point where I can make forms, i've got the mix just right so i'll be posting some creations soon.

blah...

Earthquakes.

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 15:15:30 GMT

I forgot about earthquakes.
I was abruptly reminded of them at exactly 4:42:22 this morning. A magnitude 4.2 shook the East bay pretty good. I was jolted out of a dream and my room and loft were shaking.
I found out my loft is pretty fucking strong.
No damage to the building, it's been retrofitted and I'm certain it sstood through worse.
Couldn't get back to sleep for a while.
The survival horror/post apocalyptic scenes danced in my head.
Long live Fortress Oakland!

-F

Not fired but...

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 22:36:52 GMT

My boss is making me work from home Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.
I only come into the office on Monday and Friday for meetings.
This is a result of me being a mean confrontational shit.
I hate some of the things going on at my job and I'm vocal about it.
Curious how this is going to turn out.

-F

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 17:58:43 GMT

COME ONE COME ALL....

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 17:43:25 GMT

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 15:15:22 GMT

He's a fucking kitten eater for God's sake! Whats it going to take people!?!?!? He's practically Satan now.

...and god bless Photoshop...and batman....and Santa...

My first month in Funkytown.

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 21:30:03 GMT

Its been a month since I moved all my crap into an old converted bakery in Oakland.
I'll start this post with a list of things i've accomplished since i've been here.
1. Painted most of my walls a delicious "classic burgundy" and "Inter-coastal gray".
2. Built a loft for my bed. 4x7 off an existing 4x8 "shelf" area in the room.
3. Tiled the bathroom with black composite tiles.
4. Fixed and built a dinky shriner bike.
5. Set up my art studio.
6. Began work on my new "formula" for a burnable sculpture material.
7. Tested with much success my new formula.
8. Began creating the form I will cast this material into.
9. Lost the person I cared so much for.
10. Bought a tiny pirate ship.
11. Built a dresser.
12. Created poster and t-shirt designs for my friends in Cyclecide.
13. Created Patches, and other designs for my friends running the gate at Burningman.
14. Found a heavy bag and had it installed in the house. Punching stuff is cool.
15. Nearly dislocated my shoulder.
16. Found a dead dog in my dumpster.

I'm missing somthing else...but this is a good start.

-Fitz

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 00:37:26 GMT

Dead dog in my dumpster.
I only saw the paws. It made me mad.
I know who put it there. I want to light the van they live in on fire.

Fortress Oakland is almost complete.
I just need an armored bat mobile and i'm all set.
Trying to find a fire-pole for my loft.
Urban ore is thee shit.

I either need to strangle something small or have something big kick my ass.
It's been a while since I've lived in the ghetto.
I'm acclimating poorly.
Damn my white skin!

The way to say hello and welcome to the neighborhood is to throw trash at people.

At least I know were the good coffee is.

No profound thoughts today, so ill just hand load some rock salt rounds.

Yeah...I may be hungover now, but you should see the other guy.

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 19:24:56 GMT

Yes, Thursday is the baby friday.
I trotted on down to the DNA to go see some "tribute" bands play...yeah I know what you are going to say.
In truth, it was pretty bad ass.
I missed the maiden cover band, but, got to see The G n'R band rock the fuck out. They played all the best from appetite for destruction.
I had a few beers and decided that taking a piss was in my best interest.
So I head into the pisser, sink is covered in puke. Fuck yeah man, party.
I stand at the urinal, pull out the bishop and begin to drain. I'm almost ready to shake off when this guy busts through the door, in mid puke, blam right into the sink, "BLARRRGH".
I say "Yeah man, Party till ya PUKE"!
At that same moment, he lunges at me heaving and about to blow. He crashes into me, one arm on my shoulder. Instinct snaps to. I back up, roll him off me and slam his head into the urinal in one smooth movement. I'm sure I didnt hurt him, but i'm sure I didnt want some stupid fucks puke all over me. I put the piece back in, zipped up and figured I'd leave him gagging in the pisser for a while.
It was a grand night and a good time was had by all.
Not long after this incident, I saw mister pukey ripping it up on the dance floor.
Piss and puke making a delightful pattern across his 80's rock t-shirt.

-F

...and for my next trick...

Thu, 24 May 2007 22:16:08 GMT

..I'll magically make all my belongings appear in Oakland.
Goodbye S.F. you've been great but you are an expensive bitch.
Just because I have a good job that pays me well, doesn't mean you get to take more than your fare share.
Yeah Oakland is kind of a dirty girl, but thats more my style anyway.
I'll be sure to peep into your boudior from time to time.
Oakland gives me space, you crowd me. You say you would like to foster my creative side, but you stunt me with the high cost of living.
So fuck you bitch, see ya on the flipside.

-F

Ok, things are not that bad.

Mon, 07 May 2007 19:42:19 GMT

Perhaps...I was just a bit emotional. Maybe I needed an outlet and here it was. Sometimes it's nice to write everything out, just to get it out.
So yeah, fuck all that dark bullshit. Did you see the sun yesterday, it was amazing. I loved it. I lounged in the park half the day, rode bikes, spent time with some good friends. Shit aint bad, and all the crap that was fucking with my head has resolved itself the best way it could.
Things can get tough, but all around...things are good.

-F

Jason Fitzgerald was tired...so tired.

Thu, 03 May 2007 00:45:36 GMT

I've moved out from north beach.
Life is in a major flux all around.
People are breaking hearts.
Knuckles bleed on pissed on sidewalks.
Faces get shaved.
Kisses begin to taste bitter even though their lips are soft.
Places that were cold for so long finally get heat...then the power gets cut and the raoches move back in.
It's cold in this room.
Did you know that when I was 5 years old, I learned the hard way...that a single light bulb can keep a room from freezing.
After that moment, I learned that I even have secrets I cant tell my self.
There was once a babysitter with wandering hands.
I've been crushed under boots and kicked in the teeth.
I was once tied to a tree as a child and beaten with sticks by 3 friends of mine. They ran away left me there after I went unconscious for a bit. My hands were tied above my head.
I remember the first time I didnt mind the smell of burning plastic.
I'm pretty sure the first song I ever tried to write was about being alone. I was 8.
I'm really tired.
Today my horoscope said that yes indeed, life was shit. Look at this weeks SF bay gaurdian to verify. Look under Leo.
Hey look at me, Im the king of the jungle and the sun is my sanctuary.
ROAR!
mew...mew...
This was one small honest moment brought on by a special kind of sadness.
The kind that only comes with impending loss.
Loss of a thing I created in my mind. Some people call it love, im not sure what term I had for it. but it held a certain lightness I've never felt. I'm glad I had it in my hands for a while.
I'm on lockdown, bars are back up and nobody is going to get in any more. The concrete is getting poured on Friday.
I'll be sealed in.
Just me, in a small room, with a single lightbulb.

Tactical Beard Display II

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 20:16:31 GMT

Oh, the great beard wars of 2007 are on!

Reagans follow up...with special guest...BILL HICKS.

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:22:51 GMT

"Balless Souless Suckers of Satans cock each and every one of them"

Possibly the closest thing our generation will have to a saviour....a mix of Richard Pryor and Jesus, yet totally unique in his own light.

Reagans on Drugs.

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:19:13 GMT

I saw this back in 1993. I was altered enough at the time I didn't notice the edit cuts till nearly half way. I thought this was the REAL tape Nancy and Ronny made.
Enjoy, it's an interesting glimpse into the past.